"Will Ferrell, 51. No one is you and that is your super power. Unknown, 19. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. the New York Jets cocktail? If it were easy, fathers would do it." Elementary. Best ATS Software 58. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Subordinate Clauses. 100+ Hilarious Steven Wright Quotes and Jokes | Thought Catalog 14) When in doubt, mumble. 43. The baby knew she was ready to be born because she was running out of womb. 5. But, if such a sad instance occurs and you couldn't find your favorite one-liner included in our list, add it in the comments section. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Now that I have children, I understand the scene in Return of the Jedi where Yoda is so tired of answering Lukes questions, he just up and dies. (iFunny). "You can't have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage worth ethic. 1) I used to work at McDonalds making minimum wage. Dont be a fool. Sharing quotes, proverbs, and sayings of great authors to touch people's lives to make it better. The secret to life is to love who you are warts and all. David DeNotaris, 39. Fun Office Games & Activities for Employees, Best Employee Engagement Software Platforms For High Performing Teams [HR Approved], Insanely Fun Team Building Activities for Work, The Best Employee Recognition Software Platforms, Corporate Gift Ideas Your Clients and Customers Will Love, Make an audience feel a stronger sense of, Release endorphins and calm anger for more productive debates, Plays on the human love of detecting discrepancies by illustrating a generally harmless mistake, misunderstanding, or departure from the norm. 20. While being motivating and inspiring are the top of the list qualities that come to mind first, another important characteristic is the ability to be funny, witty, and clever in stuck up situations. BBLTHRW. So, Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh. Until then, lets all keep living our best (and most enjoyable) lives! I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. Everyones eyes glaze over before youve even warmed up. Theres no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. David Letterman, 44. The CEO of IKEA was elected Prime Minister in Sweden. Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. Doug Larson, 19. Impossible is for the unwilling. John Keats, 69. 1. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Unknown, 44. - 101 funny one-liners - Best knock-knock jokes for kids. My IQ test results came back. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. "Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance? 42. About the time we can make the ends meet, somebody moves the ends., It is a good thing to learn caution from the misfortunes of others., You cant belay a man whos falling in love. ~ Edward Abbey, A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants.
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